Thanksgiving—more than any other holiday, I've realized—has the potential to bring about the sorts of benign vexations, the airing of which give this blog its general purpose.
I come from a big family. A big, fantastic family, full of love and—I want to say "freakish" diversity—though I know I'd be exaggerating slightly.
Each year, the majority of us gather in Spokane, WA at my aunt and uncle's beautiful lakeside home, where countless pies and casseroles converge and in the span of a couple hours, are reduced to remnants the likes of which are usually too meager to justify the use of tupperware.
At these gatherings the sheer buoyancy of the family geist is enough to keep even a space-case like myself from receding into familiar cubbies of introspection. Still, part of my mind (the part that constitutes "the back of my mind") scrawled a few napkin notes for later processing at God, LLC.
After all, what better grounds for study than a big ol' Catholic family?
Not that I was raised Catholic.
On the contrary, I was given a pretty much cursory religious education—bare bones, you might say. But, it turned out to be just enough to ensure that, try as I may, I will probably never fully escape the senseless guilt and feelings of blind duty that come bundled with a God complex.
I suppose I could always ask my mom what it's like—hers is the side with strong Catholic roots. Did I mention Thanksgivings in Spokane consist largely of my Mom's side? Where was I even going with this anyway. Oh, right... benign vexations and napkin notes.
I'm afraid, after all this build up, I'm getting cold feet about continuing with this family portrait. It's bound to be too lopsided. Suffice it to say, my only aim was to try and describe some of the frustrations that arise when you get a big group of people together, with a broad sampling of differences—especially when those differences are religious differences.
On the one hand, differing opinions give life meaning and kinesis. It's easy to forget this while in search of some mirage-like utopia.
On the other hand, though, it's individual constituents that amount to the elephantine machine that churns and croaks and takes donations and panders to the weak and hijacks minds and reshapes them into an image of itself perpetuating this credulity—you follow?
I will always choose people over ideas.
In this way, I guess I'll just have to continue venting my frustrations cryptically into the cybersphere, hoping that paint doesn't begin to un-dry.
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2 comments:
"I will always choose people over ideas."
This is, no doubt, one of the reasons human beings feel so conflicted when trying to make sense of The Big Picture. I think a helpful variation might also include "I will always choose self over ideas."
Scientist, priest, mother, or soldier, your ideas about the human species, the afterlife, God, and everything include unreal assumptions (similar to Nietsche's "fictional" causes/beings/science/teleology, which you address in your 1/4/10 post), if only because they are yet to occur (albeit with even 99% probability). Such assumptions are not carnal, not self, not people. So many tragedies rely on the conflict between idea and relationship! The scientist who smokes, the priest who masturbates, the mother who throws herself in front of a car to save her son, the soldier who kills a baby. For each scenario I can create a worldview compromised by overwhelming circumstances, carnal urges, impossible instincts. It is important to note, however, that I could also create romantic comedies out of the same struggles.
An interesting thing to note is that most religions readily tackle this human struggle. They try to make the ideas incarnate.
I'm not sure how "self/others" versus "idea" relates to SENTIENCE, but it's worth exploring.
Yeah, this "self over ideas" concept is definitely a painful reality. And perhaps it has to do with sentience, as you put it. Or to put it conversely, "abstraction." For example, I may have an abstract idea about how animals should receive similar treatment to humans. However, my sentience as it pertains to my hunger or craving for a hot pocket, might win out more often than not.
Abstract ideals can often be rationalized or put off, whereas feelings and cravings are primal and demand gratification. Rock beats scissors.
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