Regarding my last post...

News of the Federal Reserve's crack-down on banks for the dubiousness of their overdraft fee policies was unforeseen and abrupt enough to bring a victim of such criminality to near-tears. For an ecstatic moment, it seemed as if the clouds had parted and the big-man-himself was waving his finger at me saying "You see, I told you so! For shame, for shame."

In an instant, I came to regret my every utterance on this blog and I wanted to make things right. I wanted to apologies to all the poor souls I'd surely led astray, to all the radio stations I'd ever offended. This fervency proved fleeting, but I went on thinking along these lines for the rest of the day... and into the next—UNTIL! I realized the true nature of this occurrence...

It happened like this. I was just settling into my chair—new lease of life—ready to begin praise of His almightiness in a last-ditch attempt at favoritism, when I noticed the numbers... Let me explain.

It seems, in three years—three joyful years of apostatizing and bestowing the merits of skepticism on this blog—I have posted exactly 9 entries each year. This is evidenced by the blog archive scheme positioned to the right of this post (which, it's worth noting, should now indicate 10 posts for 2009 as opposed to 9 [at least at the time of this post]).

On a personal note, to this I say—Not bad! Twenty-seven posts in thirty-three months isn't shabby, especially, considering I never gave myself any sort of quota. On a demonic note, however, I say, this does not bode well...

Tracking with me? That's three 9's. Three 9's that, when turned upside down, make for three 6's! And as Wikipedia tells us, these particular characters when presented in succession amount to a certain number, a certain number of a certain someone who—as it turns out, aparently has a sense of humor, as I interpret this to be a direct message from BEELZEBUB HIMSELF!

Wow! Whoa is me! A personal acknowledgment from Satan, a nod of approval, the equivalent of a Hallmark card from Hell (Hellmark^® card, count it!) saying "Keep up the good work!"

And so, my hungry readers, you must pardon me for last week's knee-jerk reaction and the resulting polemic. It was all false on account of this fiendish prank, and the sentimentality that it bore I'll wear like a cheap smock I got at Old Navy that's short, wide and unflattering.

Stay tuned for regularly-scheduled programming...